Women’s Equality Day

This Spanx catalog cover makes me wanna barf.

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I don’t believe that this is what the Founding Fathers, or the people who fought in the Revolutionary War, would have wanted for us. In fact, I’m pretty sure if someone had told George Washington that one day the meaning of July 4th would be bastardized by a shapewear company preying on women’s culturally-induced self-esteem issues in order to sell bras, he’d have thrown in the towel on the whole thing. I would have, if I were him.

Secondly, given that the word is spelled “independence,” shouldn’t it be thindependence, not thindependance?¬† If you’re going to create a dumb new word, please follow spelling conventions. That’s really all I ask.

Third and finally: a group of tall, thin, half-naked white ladies trying to sell me stuff?

Is the shorter brunette on the right the nod to diversity here? If so, try harder Spanx.

Rather than celebrate “thindependance day,” or any other bullshit holidays designed to make us feel bad about about ourselves, let’s all celebrate Women’s Equality Day this summer. It happens on August 26th, the day in 1920 that women were given the right to vote in this country. Instead of considering the advantages of a specific cut of shapewear, let’s reflect on the fact that it’s another six years until the hundredth anniversary of that¬† event. Hell, maybe we could even think about the fact that women are still making only 77 cents to the dollar compared to men. It’s nothing to say “bra-llelujah” about but, frankly, there is never an appropriate time to say that.

Emma

About Emma

It sure is hard to type with these hooves!
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9 Responses to Women’s Equality Day

  1. Kathy Ruzicka says:

    AMEN!

  2. Kate Ruzicka says:

    DITTO to what the wicked smaht ladies (Momma & Emma) say. Thanks for voicing it!

  3. Chris Bentley says:

    Good for you, Emma! So proud of you for objecting so smartly to this kind of b.s., for noticing their weird spelling error, for including that great gif of Lindsey Lohan complaining about being bored, for informing me that Women’s Equality Day even exists (since no one else ever told me), and especially for inventing the word “bra-llelujah”!

    • Emma Emma says:

      I did not invent the word bra-llelujah, Spanx did! It’s there on the first white stripe of the American flag that the traditionally attractive Caucasian ladies are presumably using to hide their “fat” spanx-less tummies. If I had a to invent a word using the prefix bra, I would go for something with a bigger punch. Bra-rmageddon? Bra-spicious? I need to think on it.

  4. avery says:

    This post gives me LIFE, Emma you’re a star.

  5. Grace says:

    I also get the Spanx catalog for some reason, even though I have never ordered anything from them. Well, one time I had some tights shipped to a popular blogger, but I don’t think I gave them MY address, yet every month they send me a friendly reminder that my body is wrong and that I could achieve real power if only my butt were smoother.

    Anyway, the catalog is ALWAYS filled with the dumbest spelling and grammar errors! Do they not have a copy editor, or even someone who can read at a 10th-grade level on staff? I wish I had a copy of the catalog around so I could point out more (it’s mostly comma and apostrophe errors and confusion over their/they’re/there) but I try to get that catalog out of the house as quickly as I can.

  6. Kate Ruzicka says:

    Emma, your family ROCKS!!!

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