There are a lot of blogs written from Springfield, Missouri. Many of these blogs fit within certain easy categories. One might describe them as hipster. Or twee. Or cutesy. Most feature women in bright red lipstick, top knots, and big glasses. One might call them “lifestyle blogs,” if one feels that taking pictures with Instagram and going to thrift stores is a lifestyle.
If I didn’t know better, I’d see Springfield, MO through the lens of these blogs as a funky haven for people who wear vintage and drink coffee. As an artsy place, with lots of brick buildings. As a place that is almost exclusively sepia-toned.
Maybe that is what Springfield is? I don’t buy it, but I’ve certainly been wrong before. Maybe a better question is: why do these Springfield bloggers make me feel so gross?
Oh, I dunno, I guess because it feels like they’re trying so hard you can almost feel them straining through the internet.
But why should I care about that? Why does it bother me when anyone-- not just Springfield bloggers– tries too hard at anything– not just being twee?
Because, first off, to put it really bluntly: it really works on me! It makes me feel like I’m not at all cool or interesting or worthwhile as a human. Like, damn, I haven’t made any crafts which feature an owl. Or, shit, I don’t know anything about chess. Or, fuck, I haven’t ever even been to Europe.
And then, when I try to remind myself that so-and-so is just trying too hard, I feel worse. Like, I’m so not-cool that even some try-hard idiot makes me feel lame!
This is why I sometimes get the urge to give up on people forever. Not because I don’t like them, but because I don’t like me around them.
Anyway, I’m pretty sure the solution is just getting older.
The end.
[5/6/13: Edited to remove specific blog names, which I shouldn't have posted anyway. See my apology here].
I have this problem too! Is it any consolation to know that your blog sometimes makes me feel like my life is stupid? Like, I don’t have a cool non-working fireplace or a life-size stuffed deer. Fuuuuuuuck. And you’re not even trying to make me feel bad, plus I know you in real life (pretty well, some would say). It’s just something about published things that give them an official stamp in my mind. Published things are about real, important lives, and my stuff is just pretend. I’m just copying what I see in books or on the internet, and I’m not copying it very well. It’s shocking to me when I realize I’m now the same age as Garp or James Kochalka or Konstantin Levin or anyone else whose life I have read about and that my experience is actually MORE REAL. Garp’s life is more real to me than my own, I’m pretty sure?
But I think your graph is accurate. Things seem to be getter better. Now I get all worked up about things like achieving true greatness and destroying my enemies. But even if I succeed in destroying my enemies, how will I know I’ve really done it unless someone writes an article about it for Slate or something? How bad is it to need constant external validation? (Please answer that by saying “Not bad at all, you are doing things exactly right” otherwise I will be crushed. Validation.)
Sorry to write so much. This post touches on things I’ve been thinking about nonstop for the past few months.
Well actually my intention is that all Fawn Log readers should feel extremely jealous of my life. Otherwise I agree with your comment completely.
I’m pretty sure you’ll get an article written about you in Slate one of these days (“Children’s Librarian Develops New Approaches to Early Literacy”; “Talented Singer/Songwriter Releases Album With Rocker Husband”; “Diggy Voted Mayor of Springfield”). Or I could solve that issue for you even sooner by submitting a list of grievances about you to Dear Prudence!
Also, I would totally read a blog written by you if you ever wanted to start one. It’s really fun! You just talk about how fabulous your life is and then are all like,
I really like Beyonce, but that gif makes me hate her. Shut up, Beyonce!
Yes, please, someone write to Dear Prudence, and then write about the experience for FawnLog. I have always wanted to know what really happens when you write to an advice column. It will be fine if you write to her about how I’m ruining your life.
Hello! I’m kind of flattered that you mentioned my blog, immamissus. But I would like to address a couple of things. First of all, I was blogging out of St. Louis, not Springfield. I did just move to Springfield a couple of months ago, but I think I only have ONE blog post since moving. I wouldn’t really consider myself a Springfield blogger. Second, I am sorry that you feel as though my blog fits in this category of “trying too hard” and “caring about being cool”. Because neither of which I feel is true. My blog isn’t really meant for a public audience or to gain fame/popularity…it was geared more towards my facebook friends and family, and I was just trying out blogging to see how I liked it. So, thanks for pretty much insulting a really tiny blog that has like, 5 followers (3 of which are family members, I think??), that must make YOU feel cool. I’m certainly not STRAINING through the internet, I’m just trying to share fun things with my friends and family, so I’m not bothering every acquaintance on my facebook friends list with clogging up their news feed.
Also, I’M NOT A TRY-HARD IDIOT.
Who is a try hard idiot? You dump on private blogs for what? Because you think you are funny? Your insufferable sense of humor is about as intolerable as your blatant hypocrisy in even writing this post. Because other blogs don’t post topics or pictures in the way you find acceptable….you automatically assume they are desperate for attention. The hypocrisy here of course is your desperate clamoring for attention by judging perfect strangers for posting about their life as they see fit. I almost hate to respond to your post because I don’t want to give you the impression or even the satisfaction that anyone gives a damn about what you have to say. Can you hear that? Its the collective sigh of everyone reading this blog and understanding your irrelevance.
Oh my gosh, I honestly feel bad that Chelsey and FeelSorryForYou are upset. Sorry, Chelsey. Sorry, FeelSorryForYou. I promise you both, Emma is a wonderful person, very kind and funny. Self-deprecating. Charming. Happy to hang out with children. You’d like her. Not that she needs me to explain any of that. I understood the point of her post, and it wasn’t trying to insult you or anyone. It was this line: “… because I don’t like me around them.” Also, the phrase “try-hard idiot” is pretty funny.
Consider that seconded. Emma IS a wonderful person, who was writing a post about why she feels “not-cool” (when in reality she is NOT not-cool, and she likes kids lots like Chris said). She’s just one fawn, stepping on toes, feeling bad, trying to make it in this world. We still love you Fawn Log!
Hahaha! You are so right, Tony! I make mistakes just like other fawns. I hate when my mistakes hurt other fawns’ feelings. My only condolence is that there is no perfect fawn. We’re all just doing the best we can.
Just shake it off and keep going, fawns!